Leadership/ Americorps Motivational Statement

Leadership is about ultimately about creating a way for people to make something extraordinary happen according to Alan Keith. Improving the quality of the life St. Louis north side residents is about creating an environment for meaning change. This goal can be achieved through encouraging, and empowering the community. Using history, strategy and enlisting the aid and support north side residents dynamic change can be accomplished.

St. Louis neighborhood such as “the ville” are known for their glorious past, with effective leadership neighborhood can have a bright future. Through research about what factors contribute to the success of former residents such madame CJ walker, Annie Malone and Montford Point Marines. By sharing information about business models and grassroots organizing methods that were effective in the past. Plus using their stories about giving back to the community to inspire community action and through creating strategy through research of other neighborhoods that have progressed. North st. Louis can again be fertile training ground for entrepreneurs, doctor, lawyer and other professionals.

Americorps is a great leadership vehicle it provides opportunity for empowerment to individual (service members) and the community in which they serve. I feel my experience with stepping up to leadership training, completing the leading lady leadership series with Dress for Success Midwest Professional Womens Group and leading a community action project has provided me with the necessary skills to be an effective VISTA neighborhood organizer. I would be honored for this opportunity to make a difference in the St. Louis community.

Ok in Oklahoma


After graduating from college, I not want to come home to St. Louis. I sent out my résumé to media outlets in Kansas.  One evening I received a call about an opening in Ponca city at local low power television station. One the girls I went to school with had worked there before. I went on the interview and my car broke down on the way home. I got the job at the small television station in Ponca City, Oklahoma.

One of my  Alcoholics Anonymous home group’s members loaned me his car for a week I  so could start my job as a reporter. I had never wanted to be an anchor person.  When I attempted to anchor SCTV our college news program I had an anxiety attack.  My classmates said I sounded like I was rapping. The news producer/camera man told me they would  train me. My training consisted of live promo before my first newscast. At KPOC, I was the news director, anchorwoman reporter, and video editor. One night I was more nervous than usual. I mispronounced everything and said the call letters backwards I was suspended from on air.

 The people who had supported me during college went out of their way to continue help me as I entered next phase of my life. I commuted 80 miles a day to and from work. During a rainstorm my friend from the domestic violence shelter and her husband came to pick me and take back to Winfield. The baby sitter took me to work. I got the dealer ship to resend the sale on the first car and put me into another.

While working at television station I went  the jail to interview the sheriff and a reporter from the local newspaper was there. I had plagiarized his copy the night before on air. I was sure he was going to confront me. He complemented me on the story.

Oklahoma one year after the bombing, I went to the federal building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma to cover a memorial event. The citizens of Oklahoma were emotional and mean to the press.   I was wearing my press badge and that made me a target. I took my friends middle school daughter with me to Oklahoma city.  Since I had struggled through my preteen and teenagers. I thought I could use my experience and  make a positive influence possibly.   My friend had shared with her daughter looked so I thought maybe she would be willing to listen to me.

My favorite story that I covered was “The drug store “a scare kids away from drugs project. They take the kids on the journey drugs take you on from the party, to the hospital, to court and finally to the casket. When you look inside the casket there was a mirror. I wonder would have not been an alcoholic if I had that in high school.

The commute was hard on me. I was not spending any time with La Freda. My mom suggested I rent a room, until I could find an apartment I liked in Ponca City. She came to Ponca City to help me find some place. She took La Freda to St. Louis until I was settled. The landlord was a nice woman she had multiple sclerois. One day I was having a horrible day. I ran over something knocked the water out for the boarding house. I was saying the short version of the serenity pray “fuck it”. I did not want to turn my life and my will over to the care of God. I wanted God to get me on the right course and then I wanted to take control.

I went to Narcotics and Alcohol Anonymous meetings in Ponca City because they were smaller than the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I had gotten use to small meetings in Winfield. More men from the halfway house started coming. In the meeting, someone blabbed I was a news-person. I told them I knew what anonymity was I hoped they did too.

At the meetings ,I met a white guy named Greg. At first, I thought Greg did not like me. One night the group was going out after the meeting but I had to go back and do the news. He invited me for coffee after the broadcast. One day we where at a pizzeria I wonder why people where looking at me was it because I was with a white guy or because I was on the news. The relationship did not go anywhere. I could not imagine being intimate with a white guy.

I was scared about being away from my support system. I asked a 17-year-old girl, I met at the Narcotics Anonymous to baby sit.  I let her drive my car and I used the company car.  That was a mistake. She wrecked my car.

I was working from about 9 am till 10:30pm at night. The other person that made up the news team had quit. I learned a lot but I did not feel comfortable. In April I quit because I was feeling overwhelmed.

My family came in May and  spent graduation weekend helping me load the U-Haul truck. I had always prophesied that on graduation day the moving truck would be packed. My friend had mailed my cap and gown to me in Ponca city. It had gotten lost in the mail. I could not be able to take part in commencement with out it. The morning of the commencement ceremony, I went the bookstore and rented another cap and gown. Then I called my friend to make sure she would attend graduation.She told me she had the cap and gown. I went to her house to pick it up. I did not like the length of the original gown I order. I went back to the bookstore and exchanged it. She gave me Tupac’s Mackeville cd as a graduation gift.

The Big Block Goes on Top (Section 1)

At Wilkerson Foreign Language School, during fourth grade is when my life changed. I chose to learn German because; my Dad had learned German in the Air Force and then took some German courses in college. I participated in my first and only class play: All Around the World”. The students who were in German class sang Mine Hut Hat Dri My Hat Has Three Corners.
When my mom was hospitalized, during the second half of fourth grade, I fell behind in my homework. At first, I did not want to tell my teacher, Mr. Reed, that my mom was sick, but after I got behind, I had to start writing sentences about not completing homework. I finally said something.
When my mom was released from the hospital, she helped me write my sentences: “I will complete my homework.
She would be the parent that came on field trips. My classmates teased me and joked with me that Mr. Reed had a crush on my on mom

On my report card I had an F in Vocabulary and I thought I would be in trouble, but my mom didn’t say anything except that I should try to do better. Paul started helping me study for spelling test and my grades in Spelling improved.

When my Dad was around, he would get on me about my grades. Since my dad was not around, I continued to do poor academically. I did not study. I would transpose my numbers and that caused me to do poorly in math.

After moving from Laclede, I didn’t really make any friends until I met Rica in fourth grade. She was a brown, skinny, girl with silky, long, black hair. Rica was from Mexican-American. She shared stories about life in Mexico and how her godmother adopted her. Rica attended church and she told me about the Rapture. What Rica had told me about God frightened me. I went to church with Rica one resurrection Sunday. It was the first time I ever attended children’s church. I wanted Shirley Temple curls, so my mother tried to style it that way but I did not like the way my hair looked
. In January, things changed. We had a new girl. Her name was Chelle. She was bi-racial her mother was white and her father was black. She was taller than all the other girls and boys in our class. She was heavier too. She wore two long ponytails. She looked a lot older than her age.
Chelle became my idol, when on a field trip I did something that made my mom mad and she pinched me. Chelle told her to leave me alone. I wanted her to be my friend because I thought I would not have to worry about anybody wanting to fight me. Chelle, like Rica told many stories. Chelle told stories about being from Louisiana. Chelle and this white girl named Barbara always played with me during recess. Chelle and Jerry liked each other. Jerry was the boy who always got in trouble. He had been the first person to see Chelle because he was in the Principal’s office. He referred to her as his girlfriend.
On Track and Field day, I had signed up for the obstacles course. I thought it would be easy at least the ones on TV seemed easy. I was horrible. I could not jump over the trash cans that were used for hurdles. I had slowest time. The kindergarten class laughed at me because I did so badly.
On the last day of fourth grade, I was nervous. I thought I might fail. I was praying all day. When the school officials came they announced who would be going to 5th grade and told us to line up. I was so relieved to hear my name called.
In 5th grade, at Wilkerson Foreign Language School, the classrooms were split. The kids who did worse academically had to stay in the fourth grade room and the students who were better went upstairs with the sixth grades. Rica went upstairs. That finally tore our friendship apart.
During fifth grade, I began to struggle with relationships. I got into my first real fight with a kid named Charles on art field trip. Chelle and I got into a fight she told Mr. Reed I bit her and kept talking about getting rabies. I started fighting with her to stop her from fighting someone else. I thought she would be suspended for fighting but I could say we were playing fighting.
I participated in track and field again. I had practiced for weeks before in the basement jumping over trash cans. This time I was too slow. They did not let me complete the obstacle course, but it was personal victory of me. At least, I cleared the trash cans this time.
My Mother asked me if I wanted to take part in the voluntary desegregation program. I said yes, because my dad said I might get to experience racism up close. I liked the sixties and felt I had missed the excitement of Civil Rights and revolutionary era. While my mom was in college, she did a report on Dr. Martin Luther King. She tried to tell me who he was.
I participated in the voluntary desegregation program; where black inner-city children were transported to a predominantly white suburban school districts. Black and white students might have been in the same school at Holman Middle School but the student population was not integrated. At lunch, all the blacks sat together. A few tables were integrated.
For some class during middle school we had to do family history assignments. I began asking my mom’s parents about when they grow up. I found out my Grandma Helen was the eleventh of twelve children. Most of her siblings died during childhood. Her parents were sharecroppers. Her Dad’s name was Matthew and he was dark skinned. Her mother’s name was Lula Ballard she was  ( 1/8 African American). She was baptized in the Mississippi River. A racist killed her brother Matthew. His murder was never prosecuted. Helen attended Hearts Chapel a one-room schoolhouse. My grandmother married her first husband Roosevelt Cubbington on the condition they would go up north to St. Louis. After he died, she met Paul. They met in Tennessee while she was visiting her girlfriend. She was on the way home to see her sick dad.
Paul was a Black Indian. His grandfather was a full-blooded Choctaw (Native American). He grew up in Oxford, Mississippi a hillbilly region. Paul had a sister named Katie and an older brother named Thomas. His grandparents raised him. Paul repeated 8th grade several times because he worked in the fields. He was a cook in the Army during World War II. He told me had worked for a Ku Klux Klan member. He worked for Champ’s manufacturing while I was growing up.

In 1977 I remember watching the miniseries” Roots” on television. I could not stand to watch the whole thing. I could not stand to see the slaves being whipped. I went to integrated schools most of my life. I did not experience prejudice and racism really.
I had only experience overt prejudice once. Some white people getting off the elevator at Famous Bar called me a nigger. I thought I had missed out of the excitement 60’s.
I thought a woman could be anything she wants. I cannot say I got that message from home but I can say from the media.

Being in sixth grade was academically challenging. It was an awkward period in my life. I became withdrawn. My grades were bad I was scared I would fail sixth grade. I did not blend in with the black kids. I tried to make friends but they said I was too sad and depressing.
During sixth grade, I started listening to rock music on a local radio station because Lee a white guy in one of my classes challenged me to it. I challenged him to listen to rhythm and blues. He told me he used to listen to Majic 108 a local R&B station.
We went on a field trip to the St. Louis Zoo. The white girls were saying black people lived in houses with no windows. We passed by my house on the way. I told them to look and see the windows. I told them I lived in a house with 48 windows. Paul had just bought new insulated windows and had them installed.

Mildew and Water Damage
During my preteen years, my lack of understanding in relationships with males began to cause me heartache
By this time, my cracked foundation began to show. I began to withdraw and started acting out more. I did not go outside much to play so I was not good in gym class. I was always the lasted one picked. I was shy and reserved.
My mom would press my hair but it did not last long. I got a Jehri curl. One day I thought since I did not have much self-esteem. I would stop taking a bath. The school slut Ursula asked me, “Could you move because you stink”. I could not stand to smell myself and so as I got home I washed my under arms. I never tried that again not bathing again, but I continued not washing my face and brushing my teeth. Paul had tried to instill that in me as to wash my hands and face in the morning and I never washed my face.
For my 12th birthday, I had a party. Paul paid for it. We went together to buy the cake and food on the South Side. The decorations were pink and white. I bought a Kodak disc camera to take pictures. I wore a red and white outfit. Chelle came and some of the kids I invited from the neighborhood came. A few of the black girls from my new school came. None of the white kids I invited came. I did not wish my parents to get back together because my dad told me to stop wasting my wishes. He had been telling me that for few years. I wished for a stereo.
My best friend Chelle, came to the party. We continued to keep in touch after I left Wilkerson Elementary School. She told me she was pregnant by Mark, a guy that I liked from the old school.
I felt overwhelmed with my life a couple weeks after my 12th birthday, so I took an overdose of pills and wine. I had been taking overdoses of Tylenol pills regularly. This time I felt more out of it then usually. I had taken a whole bottle of Tylenol and some of my Grandma Helen’s prescription medicine and some arthritis pain pills, and washed it down with grape flavored Morgan David wine.
The irony is that we were studying the affects of drugs in school. My mom was at school so I told my grandmother Helen. She called her nephew, Snookie who live upstairs, to take me to the hospital. Paul, my grandfather, went with me. Snookie said he did not believe me but he ran every red light to Cardinal Glennon children’s Hospital.
They gave me some stuff that made me throw up. A nun came in and asked me why I wanted to kill myself. I told her I did not I just want to get sick. She did not believe me. I thought if I could get sick, I could take some time and get things under control. I had to stay in the hospital a couple of days because they feared kidney damage.
Paul came sat with me everyday, while I was hospitalized. I asked my mom not to tell my dad, and she did not. When I was discharged the hospital recommended counseling.
My grandma Helen would constantly tell me honor your mother and father are your days because if you do not your days will be shorter. She would also tell me I hope you have kids just like you I guess she thought I was too mischievous. My relationship with my mother was not good at the time and my classmates got sick of hearing me talking about it.
My Mom and Dad were going to court over child support. My mother would get upset with me when I did not want to call my dad or his mom and curse them out.

After my dad came back from college, he and I started doing model rocketry. . My dad made a remote launcher. We worked on it for months in the basement at my Grandma Rosie’s house. We had a rocket launch at the O’Fallon Park. My dad rented a picnic pavilion and we invited our family. We had a rocket six feet tall. I had my uncle stand next to it to check.
We continued to do model rocketry for a while. We got some white mice and named them Jerry Jett and Astro and prepared them for space flight in a simulator we made from a toilet tissue roll. The female mouse Astro had the babies. We noticed them when were cleaning her cage. She eat them. Later she killed Jerry Jett later.

My Cousin, Lala, told my dad, I had developed a crush on this white guy named Todd at school. He told me about how white men had sexually abused black women during slavery, and I had better not think any more about white guys. I was going through my phase where I want to be bi-racial. I had even told my dad I wished he were a white man. I was darkest on my mom’s side of the family. My grandma Helen would call me spook. My mom and I would stand in the mirror, she would say your black, and I am beautiful. She was joking with me, but I still stuck with me.

In 7th grade, Cyndi Lauper and Madonna came out. I wore the lace gloves and the mismatched Converse until Paul stopped me. I began to daydream and fantasize as I fell deeper and deeper into depression. In my daydream, I was a fashion designer, psychologist, and entertainer. My children were like the Jackson’s. In my daydream, my Italian husband was coke addict and I was an alcoholic.

From Woman’s Empowerment Adovacte to Woman who needs help

Last year Ly Syin Lobster hosted And Still I Rise conference to increase awareness about the impact of domestic violence. Lobster had been inconsistently involved in abusive relationship for 20 years. She states” My motivation for doing the conference is because I was exposed to abuse early in life. I wanted to start my journey to healing and encourage others .

After reading 107 Ways to Give When You When Think You Have Nothing to Give, Lobster was inspired to become involved in community service. She selected by Dress for Success Professional Women’s Group (PWG) to lead their 2010 community action project. Since Lobster and her daughters had previously been homeless three times. She decided help homeless women. Lobster and her fellow PWG members feed homeless woman, held a drive to collect personal hygiene items, and clothes. Lobster with the assistance of PWG members organized the Women Overcoming Obstacles conference for homeless women.

After her efforts to empower other women, Lobster and her daughters are facing eviction in September. She became unemployed earlier this year after Tax Centers of America had to close their St. Louis County location. Lobster has been participating in Connections to Success Employment Workshop to help her find employment.

Being a social media guru Lobster found Go Fund Me a crowdsourcing website that allows you to fundraise for personal reasons as well as projects. Lobster created the Help a Family Move. Lobster stated, “ time is running out and I have try. Chris Gardner was desperate in his pursuit of Happyiness for his family, and now he has achieve that and more. I believe that I can too”.

If you are interested in helping Ms. Lobster and her daughters visit for information on how to donate, http://www.gofundme.com/Helpafamilymove

A Journey to Home

When you empower a woman , you empower a family, when empower a family you empower a community. Hillary Clinton


My family has been homeless three-time since 1998. The first experience we were trying get on the section 8 list so my daughter and I would not have live with my parents. Our second homeless experience was due to unemployment and domestic violence. Our last homeless experience hopefully was our time in wilderness, not physically but spiritually.


My oldest daughter is a business major in college. She has been an ambassador for our country. She has been actively  involved in community service. She deserve stability in her life.


I have tried to get on my feet for the last 10 years. I have worked and tried at times to start my own business. I have read several self-help books and spent time in counseling. I have even done my part to help others in 2010 I had a conference for homeless women. In 2012 I started

my journey to healing from domestic violence and held a conference to increase awareness of domestic violence. I organized and sponsored the conference despite the lack I was unemployed.


I wanted to encourage my healing as well as help others.  Please help get  me unstuck so I can pay it forward and do my part to help others.  Having stable housing will help  my children and allow me to pursue business ideas and ideas for nonprofits that will impact and help our local and global community. stuck. I am willing to share my story because I am working on my autobiography. I feel it is my destiny to tell my story and help others.Please help  my family get unstuck so I can pay it forward.


Help my family get stable housing will allow us to our pursuit of happyiness.




My Wheels of Hope Story

Please Donate $1.00, If everybody donates one dollar. If the Lord leads to donate more that’s Great too. I should be able to get the vehicle. Below is my explanation of why I need one

Having my own transportation will empower me, I live in an area where there is no public transportation. Lack of transportation affects my job search, but in some ways it has been a positive experience. It has made me more humble and better at planning.
Having transportation would enable to me to more active in my children’s educational experience. It makes it easier to visit their school and to stay in contact with their teachers. Having a car would make it easier to allow my children to participate in extracurricular activities. Having a vehicle will assist with getting my children to medical appointments and allow us to have recreational experiences.
I do receive temporary assistance for needy families and this will enable to license the car and keep insurance. I am actively seeking employment. I participate in Connections to Success “Going Places Network” a weekly job search workshop. I am working with MERS/ Goodwill for employment assistance as well.
To keep my skills current , I volunteer and maintain a twitter account for Sparkman’s Job Talk Radio Show. I also assist the pastor at St. John AME Church
Having a vehicle will be blessing for myself and my family. Thank you for your consideration. Please help by donating a dollar via my PERSONAL pay account , which is connected to lysyin7@gmail.com or contact wheels of hope and ask them how you can donate to help me directly Ly Syin Lobster



Wheels of Hope



There have been a lot of changes at Syinly’s  Weblog. As you may have noticed  I enjoy reading books and I discuss them here on the blog. I have decided to now do a book blog in addition to discusses books occasionally on  Syinly’s Weblog. Check out my post at http://bigblockgoesontop.wordpress.com/2009/06/20/gift-book-about-desmond-tutu/

Of course The Big Block Goes on Top inspired the title for the book and more information will be there as the release date nears.

Our new home  http://syinlysweblog.net  is a work in progress and still under construction but all new post and revisions of old post are there. If you have noticed disappearing post it’s because they have been revised and are now available only at  Syinly’s Weblog.net  Thank you for visiting.

Like Samson I didn’t heed my their advice about the men in my life.  Relationships were my weakest I continued to compromise and move from one bad relationship to another.

The first few weeks back in Missouri, I wanted to leave. I thought somebody would try and stop. I thought Louie or Bentley would have asked me to stay. Soon I realized I to stay in Missouri because I had enrolled La Freda in school. During the first couple of months back while I was at home with La Joy, I started writing The Big Block Goes on Top, at first only my first homeless experience was included. A foster boy came to stay with us and that changed the dynamics of the house. It felt like we were still in the shelter so many rules.

As a result of my mother calling child abuse on me while I was Atlanta that reopened some unresolved issues in our relationship. I thought maybe if we attended a class at church together we could spend time together and begin to try and repair the damage. The class was interesting. I learned some things. At the end of the class we did spiritual gift assessment. I discovered my gifts were faith, encouragement, miracles, and teaching. I thought about how I liked to buy bible and other christian books for my friends, so I could see the gift of encouragement. Faith my experience in Atlanta had increased my faith. I didn’t understand the miracles, but I must admit God allowed a lot of miracles thing to happen to me while I was homeless in Atlanta. When we did a spiritual gifts assessment it was revealed that my mother’s gifts were mercy, administration and intercession. I thought that is bullshit.

While I finally went to apply for welfare in Missouri, no long waits like in Georgia. My caseworker told me she would send me to MERS goodwill to see if I need a GED. I thought she did not read my application stating I had graduated from college. At MERS goodwill I told them I had warrant for my arrest in Berkeley and they did not want me to do job search until I could clear up my legal issues because they thought the warrant would cause me to lose my employment. They referred me to the Connections To Success office in St. Charles to get clothes for an interview.

After Christmas I got job at a local call center. In my training class there were only three people. After the first day one person did not return. When I started training they wanted to sit me by these men and they were talking about some of everything. I thought I really did not want to sit by them because they might tempt me to talk about inappropriate things as well. During my probation period I was scared I would lose my job because La Freda kept getting sick the school would call me at work and I would have to leave and pick her up. A doctors visit was required each time before they would allow her to return to school. After my probationary period ended I won a contest a work and received a cash prize. I decided maybe I would stick with the job longer and decided not to look for something better. Later one of guys and I became close I had him draw me a picture of a red cross.

For my birthday I had a girl’s day out. I went to Apple bees in Clayton with my girlfriends and then we went to go see the movie Beauty Shop. It was the first birthday celebration, I had where I was not concerned about spending it with a guy. Moses and I were still trying to work things out. He kept saying I had not repented.

When my situation got similar to the how things were before I left St. Louis. I was living off a power strip. La Joy had stuck some scissors in the electric outlet tripping the circuit breaker. The social services had cut off my daycare assistance. I did not like my job anyway. I felt the company’s policy were unethical. They did not really allow us to help the people. I started getting bad performance reviews.

In previous employment history I had never gotten bad performance review except when I worked in a call center. I felt the like the dad in The Incredibles working or insura care. I got suspended for insubordination. The assistant manger told me to think about weather I really wanted this job or not and call them. They told me to call. I actual went back up there. I felt like if I did not drive there I would not go back. They refuse to allow me on the floor. I called from a phone in the lobby. I was supposed to inform management if I wanted to stay or quit. The project manager hung up the phone before, I could finish the sentence about I would quit. My job performance went up and then down.

For father’s day we went to Lake of Ozark and then on to Branson. The girls and I had our own hotel room that was the greatest. We rode on the ducks. I told my dad that was nice of him to take me a on a trip for father’s day. I attempted to quit again my unit manager talked me out of it. I thought God would not let me quit. After a year I finally decided to apply for sub sized housing. I was turned down because of a previous landlord reference.

Thanksgiving the girls and I spent with Moses and his mom had thanksgiving dinner at her house. I helped clean up after wards.

A week before Christmas I got a second job at wal-mart. I was surprised the wal-mart personnel manager that interviewed me said I looked like I belong in jewelry. The day before Christmas Eve I lost my keys in wal-mart. Moses came took me to work and dropped the girls at the day care. I told Moses my heart was hardened I was not going to try and reconcile things between us anymore. I had stopped calling him as much. I had known for weeks it was over. I just did not want to say it. When I decided to write my autobiography and he was so against it.

After I paid the locksmith, I went into Wal-Mart to get an extra key made. I got a key chain that said God never shuts one door without opening another one. I was thinking more about him opening the door to a house. A customer at wal-mart asked me if I would like to find some place to live. I told him yes but I had just started my second job and I did not have any saving yet. I talked to him a couple of times. He came back in after Christmas He told me he wanted a girlfriend. I told him I wanted to take it slow.

Americorps Essay

I decided I would post this since I have saved from 4 years ago.  You can see I have been interested in trying to help people for while. I know it is part of purpose. The question how does God want me to service His people. I hope it will be through The People’s Resource Site.

Essay 2 –Ly Syin -LL987322447

Hands on Atlanta will allow me to transition into the education field. The people, technology, and communications skills I have will help me fulfill the programs mission of providing a caring adults that strive to give children a safe place to learn and an academic foundation to build on and teaching skills that can be used through out life and for scholastic purtist, as well as personal gain.

My customer service skills I have gained in business and especially educational settings will enable me to deal effectively with students, school staff and parents. I know from my previous work experience and volunteer that I enjoy teaching computer skills. At Harris state college I assisted computer illiterate students in becoming experts in power point and other software applications. It was rewarding for me to see students progress and embrace technology instead of fear it.

I have worked in the past with teachers doing distance learning.

As a smart classroom or multimedia technician I helped professors with integration of technology in the class room, assisting with power point presentations that appealed to auditory and visual learners. More recent lay I have taught t adults basic about Microsoft word.

During my time working at with pre-service teachers, I began to desire to become more involved in the field of education. Hands on Atlanta Americoprs project gives me the opportunity to get more involved in the field of education making the transition from observer to participant.

Being a service Leader will allow me the learn more about students learning style, lesson planning and class room management,

With my passion for reading and technology my goal is to become a library media technology specialist

Everybody does not go to church to learn about God

This excerpt from The Big Block Goes on Top is  from during my teenage years.  Seek first the kingdom of God, I should have heard that verse much earlier in life.

Ceola my cousin was a bishop. She told me that when I learned not to focus on a man so much God was going to use me. Ceola told me she had run from God for a long time. She also told me one of my grandparents was doing to die. Paul, my grandfather died a few years later from prostate cancer.

We had been attending church for a few years, when I decided to be baptized. I was baptized at a Baptist Church, in the summer of 1988, so I could sing in the youth choir. I had wanted to join the youth choir because the kids in the choir seemed to be so happy. I thought God made them happy maybe it would rub off on me.

When I was baptized, I was wondering if I was pregnant. I wanted a fresh start, but I did not know how. I was the first person baptized that Sunday. A girl was younger than I was but she did not want to go first. The deaconess asked us what order we wanted to go in. There were 19 candidates for baptism. The girl suggested the oldest person go first. They decided to go by height. The girl was younger but I was the shortest. The pastor and the deacon held me up in the pool before they dunked me. I felt uncomfortable because they would not allow me stand in the pool but the congregation would not have been able to see me because of my height. That day my cousin Ophelia was baptized too.

Church was important to me there were many handsome young men there. I remembered few sermons. Jesus dying on the cross did not make sense to me at all. I enjoyed singing in the choir. My favorite sermons were about the fiery furnace from the book of Daniel and the untamable tongue. I could relate to that sermon because I was verbally abusive and very sarcastic.

My maternal grandma  did not take communion and I struggled with communion too. I always felt I was not clean enough. I did not want to take it because of guilt. I never felt I was forgiven.

When I heard the choir perform Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus” and everyone stood up. I thought if Jesus is here, I am not ready. Later I learned that everyone stood up because of tradition when it was first performed in London in 1743. The King was so moved with emotion he stood and everyone else did because he did.

I decided to attend Vacational Bible School I had gone one time before with some neighborhood kids and I enjoyed it. Since I was going to church on a regular basis, I wanted to go. On the first night when they asked why did we come? Did not want to admit I wanted to come. I said I came for something to do.

During VBS I got into with one of the teenage girls (her grandma was a deaconess) in my class she had a baby. She was attracted to this guy. They were talking about having sex with him on the church bus. Since she already had a baby, I gave the guy some condoms, because I thought she did not need any more babies. Some body told the director of Vacation Bible School. The director wanted to know where I got the condoms from, I told her my Dad gave them to me. The girl wanted to fight me and I was scared of her. The other people on the church bus had to hold her back as I got off the church bus. The next night I took a forty-ounce bottle with me. Nothing happen. After everything that happen, I was too embarrassed to continue going.