Tell All

I have always wanted to tell my life story. I started writing it in college and then I put it on it on the back burner until I became homeless in 2003 and wanted to tell about my experience being homeless. I realized I could not just talk about being homeless because people would not be able to identify. I realized I needed to show I had lived a somewhat normal life before being homeless. I want to tell my story in an objective method like Dr. Maya Angelou in her autobiographies. Another big influence on my autobiography has been Juanita Bynum’s No More Sheets. She discussed her sexuality and it’s consequences so openly.

I have wondered how I am going to deal with telling all my business, but it should not be to hard there has been a lack of discretion in my life so it’s not like it’s a secret. My ex-husband was against the idea of my writing an autobiography. My  youngest daughter’s dad was like just give me some of the royalties. My oldest daughter said she had mixed feelings, but she supports me. My parents have said the story is too hard for them to read, but they will before the book comes out. I have really tried to just share my story and not their stories.

I am in the editing phase and I have had my oldest daughter help. At first I only allowed her to read a couple of pages because I was scared how the content would affect her. After she became a teenager, I decided to let her read about my first sexual experience. I had mixed feelings over that. I wanted to warn her about the consequences of being sexually active too early. It is my hope that she will wait till marriage. I feel conflicted trying to encourage her to do something I didn’t.

Today I was reading Today’s Christian women and there was an article about a mother who decided to disclose her sinful past to her daughters. She shared with her daughters that she did not know better because she was not in church. I was not in church but around church enough to know better. I had been exposed to the ten commandments. I knew I was grieving the holy spirit. I learned the hard way about the emotional, psychical consequences.

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