Thoughts on the Missouri Mule

We went to Kansas City with my parents to celebrate my oldest daughter’s birthday. My parents where aware my oldest daughter wanted to ride the train. We took Amtrack ( Missouri mule) to Kansas City, Missouri. My Dad told me before we left it will be a trip to remember. He was right.

On Sunday morning my youngest daughter wanted to go outside after being on the train all day Saturday I could not blame her. We walked around Crown Center and watched a wonderful water display. I am fascinated by water I guess because water can be powerful or peaceful. As we watched the water I thought when we were in Atlanta and we would go to Centinnal park on Sunday morning. I wondered how many homeless people hung out there. I thought I should be thankful that my parents would take my daughters and I on a trip.

Then we walked back to our hotel room and my grandma made a comment about how I combed my youngest daughter’s hair and then I got defensive. I began my tirade you don’t have nothing better to do than talk about my short comings all my other cousins have a homes and a life. I’m the screw up so just talk about me.

When I calmed down I realized that If I had all the stuff my cousins did I would spend less time with my grandma and parents because I would be too busy doing other things. Spending time with them would not be important me. Maybe God allows me to stay poor materially so that I can be rich spiritually. If I had money I know I would not be concerned honoring and spending time with my parents or grandma.

I told my oldest daughter all weekend God is trying to build character he doesn’t give us things our character can not handle.

A couple of weeks after the trip I realized I am still holding on to un-forgiviness. That is why my relationship with my parents is strained and  it is difficult to accept help from them.

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